[OT] Reflections on our performances this week....

From: Mark Coniglio (troika@panix.com)
Date: 09/17/01


Dear List,

I will thank you in advance for letting me share some thoughts about 
our performances this week. It is good to have a community with whom 
I feel that I can share this...

It has been quite an experience - performing on Thu (the first show 
after Tue) was as difficult a performance as I can remember giving. 
It became especially hard because the first work in the program, a 
duet inspired by Dawn's consideration of her own mortality after 
getting Type-1 Diabetes two years ago, suddenly had an absolutely new 
meaning in light of the attack. She starts, in the voice of a 
preacher almost, by saying "I'm feeling totally confused, 
disconnected, afraid about the future..." Later, the other dancer 
exclaims, as a contrast, "I'm feeling totally content" - you can 
imagine how hard that was to perform. The piece ends with the other 
dancer asking, "Are you ready for the end?" and Dawn answering, 
"Yes.". Blackout.

And then, Dawn's new solo piece: performed totally in silence and 
accompanied only by a large television swinging on a 12 foot cable, 
showing the images of clouds in the sky, she makes a gesture that 
might imply that she was holding a globe - or the world - in her 
hands, examining it, and then suddenly her fingers flex in way that 
indicate that the object has crumbled.

It was so eerie how seemed as if all these pieces must have been 
created after rather than before the horrors of earlier in the week. 
I suppose it is a testament to the work that it can speak to the 
moment in which it was performed in such a powerful way. On the other 
hand, perhaps it is only that everything can be seen only through the 
lens of this horrible attack.

The other hard moment in the concert came in the set of dances we 
created set to the music of 80s pop band Devo. These were supposed to 
be unabashedly fun, and a little campy. We'd literally never done 
anything like that - we're always awfully serious as some of you 
know. In one of the sections, I was playing video created with a 
little rig I made to record stereo video, the kind that requires the 
audience to don the old fashioned blue-red glasses to watch it. That 
video consisted primarily of shots, taken with the camera pointed 
straight up into the sky, of skyscrapers in lower Manhattan. 
Thankfully, the WTC was not among them. Still, these images seemed to 
be too much. I spent several hours on Wed. recutting a new video 
without the buildings. We showed that video on Thu, but because I had 
precious little other material, the piece seemed very empty. On Fri, 
we reinstated the old video, and talked to the audience about it 
beforehand. Luckily, the response after the concert was that people 
felt it was OK to use this video.

The part about this that was really hard was that the particular 
piece to which this video was attached was "It's a Beautiful World". 
The song itself is ironic, because the point is that it is indeed 
_not_ a beautiful world. The combination of the somewhat campy 
dancing, the words of the song, and the video of these 3D skyscrapers 
was a strange, unsettling combination.

For those of you who responded so enthusiastically to my email of 
last week announcing that we would perform, I give my thanks. Dawn 
and I were very unsure of our decision. In retrospect, it was totally 
right to do, and served as our own way of defying those who would 
terrorize us. It struck me that, as the 18 people who showed up on 
Thu night gathered in the theater, that this was our community, and 
that this is how we gathered together to console and comfort one 
another. I am very glad that those 18 people had the courage to come 
out of their homes and be with us, so that we could have the lovely 
feeling of being able to give them something beautiful when all 
around seems so ugly.

With Warm Wishes,
Mark
-- 
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Mark Coniglio, Artistic Co-Director | troika@panix.com
Troika Ranch Dance Theater          | http://www.troikaranch.org
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